The World Wide Web

This is bad. This is very bad. Scary even.I googled my name and found things about myself that I never knew. And its scary cus I'm kind of everywhere over the internet. Reminds me of new media - Privacy is a luxury in the digital age.

I found pictures that I never knew were taken. I found people that I thought do not know me but yet knew how to spell my name correctly on their blog. I found blogs of old friends when they mentioned that they met me on the street. I found out that an old and distant friend remembers me as her GOOD GOOD friend. I found blogs of people who are dear to me even thou we seldom keep in contact now.I left comments on people's blogs that I dont even remember. I read that someone thought I saw him cry when I didnt (or maybe cus I dont rmb it).

of cus, information of me is everywhere cus of facebook, my space, xanga and so on. I never found my own blog but I dint do a thorough search. Its scary. But it is also kind of 'heartwarming' as I looked through those old photos, read through those old memories and know that I have great friends.

The Dogs of Babel

I read the book today, and I was drawn by the scottish fairytale mentioned.

Out then spoke the fairy queen,
and an angry queen was she:
"You have take the finest knight in all my company!

Had I known but yesterday
what I know today
I'd have taken out your two gray eyes
and put in eyes of clay.
And had I known but yesterday
you'd be no more my own
I'd have taken out your heart of flesh
and put in one of stone."

-Tam Lin

Not used

School has started and it is freaking me out. Suddenly I have things to do. I'm not used to that idea. I'm only for the idea of wanting to do things, not things that require me to do them. Certain things have been screaming for my attention but I choose not to hear them. Many readings. Many many readings. In fact, I think I have been giving almost all my attention to just one particular module. Very unhealthy I know.

I am not used to waking up early. My body alarm is tuned to 11.30am every morning. Even that is early for some.

I am not used to squeezing up the bus in the morning, laptop in hand, bag on arm and frantically trying to tap my bus pass. I am not used to being engulfed in bodies while standing on the bus and trying not to fall. I am definitely not used to being pushed until I feel as if I will fly off from the little spot that I was standing on the bus.

I am not used to less outings.

I am not used to the fact that I dont have time to visit the library anymore. There's no point since I wont have time to read fiction.

This semester is not what I envisioned it to be. It was supposed to be more relaxed, slighly easier and more of a breeze compared to the previous sem. On the contrary, I have more projects even though the modules are slightly easier.It just seem to me that you can't have the best of both worlds(as if we all don't know that)

Anyway, there's a new kid on the block. Ok three new kids but the youngest boy caught my attention. I spied him playing with twigs and making odd noises that sounded like bish bang biang and I, er, replied him with my version of odd noises. And when I bid him goodbye, he blew me a kiss! I was so surprised as there was no one there to prompt him. And then he blew me another! Now boys like that I like. I was having a bad day and a kid made it right for me.


and when we feel empty, we sleep.

Unknown

I took this away from a History lecture today - 'You don't exist if no one remembers you'.Though I heard it before, it still strikes me hard. It is astonishingly easy to vanish from this world. Get rid of all your records and pictures and maybe when science and technology permits, you can erase the memories of people that have an inkling of you in their mind. Of course we don't have that now, it seems rather inhumane to do that anyway, but people can still disappear and as time passes, they are forgotten.

And of cus when you die, your direct descendents may remember you but how many generations will remember you? So when time passes long enough, you will be forgotten. It will be as if you never existed before.

so what is the point?

While vanishing is easy, it seems to be the opposite if you want to leave your mark behind.

Ankle

I fell just now. At the gardens. Yes first fall of the year whatever.The ankle felt ok just now but now it feels like shit.

When I grow old and my hair turns grey, I'm so gg to suffer from my weak ankles and knees.

Southern Ridges

I am burnt. Again. Just when I thought I was about to 'recover' from the ugly tan lines that I've got due to the cycling trip (long ago), I've got to go get myself awful marks on my shoulders again. I dint think that I'll get sunkissed so I only apply my regular dosage of sunblock on my face.

It seems like I'm starting 2009 exploring Singapore. Today, I went trekking with my brother. Ok trekking might not be the right word but I cant think of any other more appropriate ones. We went to the Southern Ridges. And, we completed the bloody nine km trial. Let me repeat. We completed the bloody NINE km trail. Now 9km may sound like nothing. Come on, its even lesser than a regular marathon. But,here's the catch. This 9km includes almost a gazillion steps/stairs and slopes. Uphill. I almost dieded I tell you. All in all, we took around 3 to 4 hours completing the whole thing (we were quite fast cus we weren't camwhoring, too tired from the climbing) and spend around an hour or more at the quaint museum at the end of the trail. To let you know roughly how far I've walked, I started at Vivocity and landed somewhere near Science Park, which is fairly near NUS.

Anybody interested can check out this website:
http://www.nparks.gov.sg/cms/index.php?option=com_visitorsguide&task=attractions&id=62&Itemid=73

So here's a picture of me at HortPark. We dint do much exploring there, but I think we saw all that we wanted to see. I wont be posting my brother's picture here albeit he'll probably kill me if I do.



I dont think I'll be doing this again anytime soon. I might try it again some time after. Its a pretty memorable thing to do.

I guess these days, I'm just trying to spend the last week of my holidays doing stuff that are more constructive.

Hello 2009

I know I'm a bit late but this feels more like the right time. (I was trying to get over the transition period and convince myself that it's already 2009). I'm not going to make any new year resolutions. Guess when people reach my age, this age, they just stop making this sort of things altogether. Whats the point when you know that you're not gg to remember them later or just feel guilty or horrible for not being able to achieve what you have set out to do early in the year? And since life is so unpredictable, I guess we can settle with small goals along the way.

I just hope 2009 would and could be a good year. Things to do are aplenty. Bring on the fun and surprises and I think I will do fine. Already, there are things to look forward to, ie, getting rid of braces and then, not so welcoming the retainers.

I've been finding myself relying on my trusty notebook to check what I've done for the previous weeks and so. Hence, I was looking thru the book to see how I've spent 2008. I actually feel quite sad about this. It either shows that my memory is failing badly or that nothing eventful has happened in the year. Looking back, everything felt so far away. Like, working at the clinic, going for fieldtrips, SPOP! concert (gosh I almost forgot abt that thing!),tuitions, UPS, fireworks, deadlines, more deadlines, presentations, forums, assignments,going to the ZOO twice within a month, avenue Q, thailand, christmas, painting the living room....There's more, but I think it would take long. I guess when I was not pent up with project deadlines and all, I really felt at ease with myself in 2008.

Anyway, this is one of the first few places that I've been in 2009 (always wanted to go there, the view is amazing) and yes, Happy New Year. May it be a good year for you too.