I accidentally deleted the images hosted for the previous template and my blog was ruined. Am too lazy to get them hosted back up again hence I'm just going to settle with blogger's classic template for now.

The boy is not feeling well and is slping in thy bed now. Feels oddly complete and peaceful though the father is blasting his chinese dramas outside.

Merry Christmas everyone. May you all haf a blessed one.

somebody has been trying to hack into my email acct.

There is no reason why I shld rcv an email from hotmail saying that my live acct will be deactivated in 24 hrs due to several unsuccessful log ins and needs to be activated again.

chicken nugget.

It has been a while.

During this time, work has been killing me, devoiding me of life. Ok that’s just me exaggerating but now I see why people who are working have ‘lesser life’ than those studying. You know, I actually miss being bored. Yea, just being bored is an awesome feeling.

Things have changed. I have changed. I started believing in things that I never believed in. I want to do things that I wouldn’t even let you speak about when it was 2 years ago. What caused this change, I don’t know. I guess it’s just one’s mentality when one is put into the situation. I hope I can say this better but it’s kinda difficult to put it in words. Right now, I’m just taking it one step at a time.

You know, the practicalities of life are depressing.

On a lighter note, if you minus work out of my life right now, its actually pretty awesome. The other day, I was asked what my short term goals are. I was just about to rattle them off when I realized that I've already forgotten what they are. I remember travelling being one of them but I think the grad trip cancelled that one out. I think I need to make a list again. Things I need to do. Things I need to conquer. And reading. I’ve been neglecting the books. Not to mention, the ipod touch was freaking distracting.

Ok everything’s kind of disjointed here but what’s new.

Miss the bro. Cant believe that he has only been away for two months. Felt like eons to me.

Hijacked

My computer has been taken over by my mum recently. To watch her korean dramas. It has been arranged tht she will start watching at 8pm on the lappie for two hours after her 7pm korean show on teevee.I will do miscellaneous stuff till 10pm and start using the lappie after that. It worked out quite well till she got hooked. Today she spent more than 3 hours watching the drama on the lappie while I hung around doing nothing during that time. The living room's teevee is blasting china dramas and my room is blasting korean dramas. Gawd, it was kind of awful. Cus i have no where to go and nth to do when all the entertainment mediums have been taken up. I'm reduced to using the internet on my phone which isnt very nice cus i cant play games.

You know, I cant blame my mum for watching korean dramas on the net cus i was the one who introduced it to her and taught her how. And it's understandable that she's hooked. But, wow. I've never felt so redundant in my life before. I was practically doing nothing. Now I sound pathetic. Argh!

I couldnt care more, but I couldnt care less either.

It's the time of the year. Well, the second time any way. It's the exam period. Had a most frantic first paper today as I thought I will be stuck in a traffic jam in Bukit Timah (Good Lord! Why is there a traffic jam on a good and sunny day with no accidents?). It was nerve wrecking, leaving me very much panic-stricken as I debated if it will be neccessary to call the school's registrar. I arrived 10 minutes before the paper commenced and had an awful time as I do not have much to write. I'm just hoping that I'll get a B-. I'm not even looking for a B. A B- and I'll be very much satisfied.

There's a paper tmr at 9am. I've just finished dinner after I got home from the evening paper and am about to start on thy last minute revision when I feel like I have something to pen down. Hadnt felt that way for a really long time so I'm just going ot blabber non-stop. It's tea time. So I guess I wont be sleeping tonight. Or at least not before 3/4am.

On a side note, my brother shove my cousin's sony SD card into Fintan's SD slot and it got stuck. Firstly, why must my brother do such a thing! Like seriously, he could have asked me first before he slot the card in. Secondly, why must sony make SD cards of a different size?! Ok, not really their fault but oh wells. Spent a few minutes googling on wht to do (I LOVE GOOGLE) and eventually got it out. ALmost had to bring Fintan down to visit the Fujitsu guy tmr but thankfully there wasnt a need to.

Saw Mr Brown today when I was having lunch at the coffeeshop downstairs. Seems like he's always there ard 11 plus 12. He's reading his papers as usual and wearing converse. Now I sound like I'm stalking him. It's just a little weird cus I was still reading his blog yesterday beofre I sleep and tadah! He manifested in front of me today.

Ok, about time to go and study. I really dont want to but I guess I need to.

xoxo

shld get smth started.

I was just basking in my happiness about being able to sleep for three days straight (Honestly, I wanted to sleep somemore) when I realised, it's Monday already.

I thought I had the perfect plan this recess. With the sleeping and reading and going out when I realised that I have two tests awaiting for me when sch reopens with project preparations, presentations and deadlines. I hadnt run since last Monday and I dont have time till this Friday.

And er, let's leave the I need money talk for a while but I just bought a pair of Havaianas through a phone call cus it's er 50% off and er, I don't even know how it looks like. So, I bought like 5 pairs of footwear ever since I came back from Thailand.

Shit.

Oh crap, I better get started on something soon.

An OSOM

Gosh, I'm totally in love with this "Out of Sight Out of Mind" table. Its awesome becus it has so much storage space! Looking at it makes you want to sit at the table and do something already.

But then again, I won't get this table so I need a trip, to IKEA. Soon. =D

credits: http://elitechoice.org/2008/10/25/out-of-sight-out-of-mind-modular-table-concept/

whatever will be will be

Today's the birthday of a friend, happy 21. Being 21 but not yet reaching 21, I'm still enjoying the benefits that of a child. For example, the Thai trip that is going to take place in 3 weeks (excited!) require us to buy travel insurance, which is more than 50% cheaper if you are a child, below 21 years of age, as of 1st May 09. As an young adult, I feel myself having to grapple with the notions and the constant questions of what am I going to do after graduation, doing honours or no honours and that sort of questions. To which, I often have no answers. Even doing honours itself is a huge question mark, as my borderline grades do allow myself to qualify for the application if I'm consistent and willing, but does not provide a safety net for a lesser grade. Honours, is something that I dont see myself doing, but seems required and a good way to get away from the horrible economic situation.

You see, I'm confused as to what is expected of me. To start with, I have a weird mother who did not want me to go to university and prefer me to settle for less in a polytechnic. I told you she's weird. But she had been very supportive and allowed me to pursue what I wanted academically even though she had to work very hard for me and for it. In uni, I'm pursuing my passion in a major that people often see no future in, and I'm too unsure as to where my passion can take me. Especially so if I want to graduate with a bachelor's degree. I have visions of what I see myself doing, which I know is not very possible. But I'm daring myself to dream and to attain the impossible.

But back-up plans are a must. Relatives and whoever always tell me that I could be a teacher. No not me. There are too many reasons why I did not want to pursue this childhood ambition of mine, voicebox failing being one of them, but yeps. And as much as I say that 'back-up plans are a must', I refuse to deal with it, and thus no research whatsoever on the jobs that I can go into.

I must say that I'm pretty much a happy-go-lucky person. I take things as they come. I focus on the short term stuff rather than the long term ones. I never went to look for things that are needed to 'zhng' my resume, but only do what is required of me. In a sense, I sometimes feel that I can't be bothered with the practicalities of life.

reading what I've written above, I realised that I do not have a solution to the above problem and I do not want to look for a solution. Looking for the solution is too adult, and I do not want to be associated as such. You know, trying to grapple the notions of adulthood and its responsibilities, is scary.

On a sidenote, one exam down and three more to go. This sem is a killer.

Mashed

I've never felt so good for a long time. Tonight, before I was typing this entry, I was reading a book by Murakami (new Love!) in bed. Few hours before that, I found myself at Yishun Library, surrounded by books by Murakami. Which was a pleasant surprise as most libraries usually have them out on loan. I saw a remark on the cover of a book which describe him as similar to David Lynch. Goodness, David Lynch! Brings back all the memories of Cultural Studies.

Tonight's an unusual night. I hadnt read something that I have enjoyed without worrying about assignments and readings for a very long time. Reason being the recent assignments are due today and readings can always wait till the day I need them. In addition, next week is recess week!True, I have project and presentation to prepare and research upon but it wouldnt hurt to laze around for a while I guess.

The past week(s) has been very eventful. As you may all know, I've got my braces removed thou it wasnt very obvious. I kind of still look the same. I'm wearing my retainers now and I feel as if my teeth cant breathe. I've got myself a new phone, which kind of left me very broke but I love it all the same. I've had it for one week already and yet I've yet to fully explore the functions of the phone due to the busy school week. Just the other day, I found myself in the arcade with R at Suntec since we had nothing much to do and spent one hour there playing games which amount up to $13.50. Chalet was quite fun but draining. I ended up at Cherry Hill when I overslept on the bus on the way home the next day and had to take another bus back home. Times like this, I end up getting frustrated with myself as to how can I allow myself to miss my stop when I'm already so tired. Training last Tuesday was kind of disappointing as only 5 pple turn up. We ended up playing 'old man's' basketball, taking jumpshots (which was a first for me as I thought I was old enuf to not do such stuff alr) and ultimately found ourselves in yy's car, packing up the extra pounds by chilling out at grapevine. As usual, gossip commenced shortly after with pple getting confused over what was termed GG and BG relationships. Tuition was uneventful, nothing much to teach and I ended up doing his art for him while he tried to come up with a salad recipe for Home Econs. Ok I know everything's kind of messy here but I cant really rmb whatcomes first, but they were all memorable in their own way.

Its only February and it seems like everybody's having a party of some sort to mark their phase into adulthood. Personally, I dont find a need to celebrate it by having a big get up as there's nothing happy about being an adult. You know, more responsibilities and that sort of thing. Normal celebration will do, after all, age is jsut a social construction. Then again, isn't everything?

Unknown

I took this away from a History lecture today - 'You don't exist if no one remembers you'.Though I heard it before, it still strikes me hard. It is astonishingly easy to vanish from this world. Get rid of all your records and pictures and maybe when science and technology permits, you can erase the memories of people that have an inkling of you in their mind. Of course we don't have that now, it seems rather inhumane to do that anyway, but people can still disappear and as time passes, they are forgotten.

And of cus when you die, your direct descendents may remember you but how many generations will remember you? So when time passes long enough, you will be forgotten. It will be as if you never existed before.

so what is the point?

While vanishing is easy, it seems to be the opposite if you want to leave your mark behind.

Hello 2009

I know I'm a bit late but this feels more like the right time. (I was trying to get over the transition period and convince myself that it's already 2009). I'm not going to make any new year resolutions. Guess when people reach my age, this age, they just stop making this sort of things altogether. Whats the point when you know that you're not gg to remember them later or just feel guilty or horrible for not being able to achieve what you have set out to do early in the year? And since life is so unpredictable, I guess we can settle with small goals along the way.

I just hope 2009 would and could be a good year. Things to do are aplenty. Bring on the fun and surprises and I think I will do fine. Already, there are things to look forward to, ie, getting rid of braces and then, not so welcoming the retainers.

I've been finding myself relying on my trusty notebook to check what I've done for the previous weeks and so. Hence, I was looking thru the book to see how I've spent 2008. I actually feel quite sad about this. It either shows that my memory is failing badly or that nothing eventful has happened in the year. Looking back, everything felt so far away. Like, working at the clinic, going for fieldtrips, SPOP! concert (gosh I almost forgot abt that thing!),tuitions, UPS, fireworks, deadlines, more deadlines, presentations, forums, assignments,going to the ZOO twice within a month, avenue Q, thailand, christmas, painting the living room....There's more, but I think it would take long. I guess when I was not pent up with project deadlines and all, I really felt at ease with myself in 2008.

Anyway, this is one of the first few places that I've been in 2009 (always wanted to go there, the view is amazing) and yes, Happy New Year. May it be a good year for you too.

I'm too lazy to think of a title

I am relieved.

With the results of cus. I thought of waiting till after christmas to check em but I guess I was never that kind - the nonchalent, results-dont-matter to me kind of person. Sadly, my results do matter to me. Yeah and so I checked them after a long cold shower which I thought could help heal my aching legs but to no avail.

Anyways. Back to the results. I did ok I guess. Its like standard. Maintained. Never go up, never go down. Which is good. It seems like I'm consoling myself before I'm going to start wailing about how I could have done better(what I always do)but this time I am only grateful. Honestly, I feel that I was only upset with one module which I got a B-. Other than that, I'm glad my results were yeah, stagnant.

And I had a good day today. Went singing with S and we went for steamboat after. I'm so glad for steamboat cus I ate so much it finally cured my "I'm still hungry and I still want to eat you better give me food!" syndrome. R would be so happy I'm gg to finally stop whining and gushing over food.

And I'm also happy becus daddy bought me CLEO! ok lar he exchanged it with his points at the petrol station but still! =D

p/s: Christmas is a nightmare at orchard road!

What I Have been doing

1. Reading fiction
2. Watching hell lots of movies
3. Spending waaaaaaaaaaay too much money on clothes
4. Spending waaaaaaaaaaay too much money on food
5. Trying to read non-fiction
6. Planning to embark on a sewing project
7. Planning to go jogging
8. Planning to clean the room
9. Getting hooked on photoshop (with my non-existant skills)






p/s: I'm not gg to show you guys the 'before' pictures.

Oh my god oh my god. I cant believe that I actually changed those settings without knowing. Thank goodness I realised soon enough. If not I can just go bang wall. I will have no friends and I will suffer.

Dont ask me what.

Read

I think I need new books. Finished A Kite Runner in bed during this short break and I realised that I hadnt read fiction for a very long time. Too long in fact.

There's a Jodi Picoult book that I have but I just dint get myself to read that one. I think I grew out of Jodi Picoult and that I dont really like her books anymore. I will be more than willing to give away that one. Hopefully someone else can appreciate it better than I do. Its The Pact.

Yeah and since the hols is coming, I can do with a few more paperbacks. And this time, I will be reading for pleasure. Sadly, pleasure doesnt come from reading readings of late.

Shieldtox

I am now damn proud of myself because I just killed a flying cockroach. Damn I dont understand why cockroaches must learn to fly beacuse they are horrible enough even if they dont fly. This guy just flew into my window like that and I was scared shit because it was flying around for I dont know what. Then came Shieldtox to the rescue! Must run to kitchen at lightning speed to make sure that when I ran back, I still know where the cockroach is ok!

Anyway, the cockroach has retreated into a nook under my organ. I am gg to spray just one last time to make sure it dies. I've placed the Shieldtox right outside the nook so if it ever struggles out to take its last breathe of fresh air, it will be able to see what killed it. The Wonderful Shieldtox.

I've been glued to the computer lately becuase of all the films that I'm able to watch. And dammit, I just found out that K-PAX has been made into a movie like 7 years ago. How can it be that I know about this only now?

Holy cow!

wel fare

I am enjoying a little holiday. Since the completion of the three big projects, I’ve been indulging in a little too much sleep, tv and of course, the internet. In fact, it feels as thou exams are already over. Till I realized that the semester is coming to an end and the big E is just around the corner. The guilt is trying to eat me up but I’m just shrugging the feeling off.

But I think being lazy for a while is for my own good. I’m not trying to justify my own laziness, its just that the past few weeks were a little traumatic. Too many things were happening at the same time. And when there’s stress, there’s friction. Often, I feel like I couldn’t take it anymore when people start piling things that doesn’t concern me on top of me or start whining about minute things that I don’t really care about.

So I bitch to my brother. My poor brother. But I guess he needs some excitement (which comes in the form of gossips) in his life. If not, he might just die of boredom by staying at home all day. Cause he can’t go swimming you see. And when he can’t go swimming, he’s kind of crossed. And it all boils down to the unpredictable weather.

The year is passing faster than I actually imagined it to be. At least, I have things to look forward to before it ends.

To see Obama being elected (yeah!)makes me feel a little...touched? I was watching the speech he made to America and I thought it was really moving. I'm happy I get to be part of history! How I hope I can feel the same about my own country's election. Even though I'm already better off than the rest as I stay in a highly contested area =D

i remember lonely soldier

It has been a long time since I actually listen to any new songs, relying on my trusty collection of the old.

Today, I listened to Damien Rice, found some that I have never heard before on Youtube, and I fell in love with him all over again.

I heart Damien Rice.

be better

It has been an awfully long time. The last post was about me complaining about work and stuff but I dint even go into the details and I’m already starting a new phase of my life. Or should I just say another stage in my life. I’m kind of enjoying the days as it goes by. School has started and the true horror hasn’t struck but it has been good so far (c’mon, it has only been two days). I’m foreseeing a really busy semester and a fulfilling one as well.

Life has been easier after choosing the major. Now, I can actually set my goals on things that I can see and things that I can focus on. I know what direction I’m suppose to go in and I’m going to work so fucking hard to get it. It’s time to pull those pathetic grades up.

You know, life is good when you have almost everything. I’m pretty contented with my dosage of family, friends and fiction.

PS: It would be better if moolah can grow on trees thou. Then there will be no problems with fieldtrips, holidays blah blah blah.