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these days, I feel like dough.

Project members are so wishy washy. They ask a question, you propose a solution, they reject, and dont know what to do. Its kind of stupid aint it? To me, its just plain wasting time. No doubt they are nice. But I think it would be better if they can decide faster and not just waste time discussing and digressing and discussing again. Ok not all of them are like that. But one is enough.

Spare me.

Or maybe I'm just being too impatient.

noteworthy

My brother is someone who would volounteer to help me print my notes in his office. Then later curse and swear because there were so many documents to print that it takes more than 2 hours. Then later say its alright even thou I said I wanted to treat him good food for helping me print that monstrous stack of stuff.

My hero.

My brother must love me=)

What do you do when you feel what you're not supposed to?

argh'

Awesome!

You know the feeling of being unsatisifed? The feeling of desperation to see and know more? The feeling that the world is just out there for you and you need to go and do something else that is more worthwhile than whatever you are doing right now? I get that sometimes. But today is just not that day.

Its also not the day when everything is not going your way. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Today is the day that I feel so contented and so satisifed. So comfortable that I dont know what else to ask for. I've got a group of dependable friends, my family, everything that I need. I even have Ricky's psp with me. Heh heh.

I admit that I was feeling a little sore today when I woke up, probably due to the CNY hangover [yes, I haven't quite recover from that yet]. I was kind of tired, and was suffering from bad morning flu. And the thought of staying in school from 9am to 6pm kind of put me off, especially when 12pm -4pm is a break. I was thinking of skipping the 4pm-6pm lecture initially. Miraculously, I attended it.

Today is just one of those rare days that I feel going to school cheers me up. That I actually enjoy school and the tutorials. Yes I enjoyed the lessons that I attended today. I dont know why. The tutorials were conducted normally. I met a few new people whom I think are nice and cool. Maybe it was due to the interactivity.

I remember I was feeling quite flustered as I have a lot of backlog and readings to clear. My assignments that are due this week are also not finished. Yet, I could sit back, relax, watch tv, play psp and tell myself, ' Arh, I could do all these later. Tmr maybe.' Thats how comfortable I am today.

I feel as if I'm living in my own world.

*
Snippets of life

The other day, I was showering when my mum asked me to hurry up. By then, I was already dressing myself. When I came out from the toilet, my mum asked me in an astonished tone, " Why you bath got no water sound one, you dry-clean yourself arh?' (directly translated from chinese).

-_-'''

splash.splash.happy

Last monday, I forgot to bring my phone to school. But that was alright, I can live without the phone. Today, when I left the house for school, I forgot to bring my wallet out with me and I only realised it when I was at the bus stop. To walk to the bus stop from my house, I'll take ten minutes. And its brisk walking mind you. So today morning, I had a 30 min morning exercise before I go to school walking to the bus stop, back home, and to the bus stop again. How muddle headed can I get.

Its not the first time I'm saying this but I'm feeling quite overwhelmed by the things I have to do since school started. There is a hell lot of readings to do man and sadly I'm just not disciplined enough to finished all of them. I tried and only managed to complete a few. That pile of readings is just plain disgusting. Not to mention those that I have yet to print out. And projects, presentations and reports. I miss TS and History readings!!! They are so much shorter and consise and some even interesting!

I can't get over the fact that I have sensitive skin. Like super-sensitive. Just a few bites from I dont know what is enough to give me an allergy. And when they recover, they leave ugly scars. UGH. And they are itchy! You know, the more you scratch the more they spread? So I just have to tahan.

This year Chinese New Year is boring. I feel nothing of the ' festive cheer'. I remembered last time SBS used to have those decorations on their buses? The Hat from the Cai Shen Ye will be on the roof of the Bus? This year, I just see a few buses having the ' Gong Xi Fa Cai' msg being fkashed across their 'display screens'. How miserable.

And no more fireworks this year?! What happened? No organising commitee this year to try and spice things up? Even the pasar malam moved to Heartland mall! There used to be 4 stages around my area during CNY and they have speakers tied to the lampposts playing chinese new year songs so this year it seems very bleak.

Cant wait for angpows though. Hee

It's just weird. Something happened and I feel that I dont know what to believe and what not to believe. I don't know who is right and who is wrong. And who is to say what is right and wrong? There's so much to think over and I just dont know. If it could be settled so easily then why not? I dont stand to lose, or do I? Just when I thought that I have no reason to doubt, I can come up with like 10 or more other reasons that thinks otherwise. I guess it it about faith and sensibility. Or faith and practicality. Or simply pantangness and reason. Oh whatever.

What if its true? What if its not true?

All I know is that if I do not believe now, and the scenario did happen one or two years later, I'll be filled with remorse. But what if it isnt true? If I did what I was told to do, I will not know if it is true or not also.

Ok I'm just as puzzled as you (whoever is reading this post now), so dont ask me. Cus I dont really know either.

I just dont want bad things to come.

I hate to think. But it seems like I can never stop thinking.



Ps: It sucks when your interest doesnt seem to bring you anywhere.